Under My Skin
by Scarlet Kissed Vertigo
Summary: In the progress of re-writing so on hiatus.
1. Bizarre Friendship

**Under My Skin**

x. Bizarre Friendship .x

"True friendship is never serene."_ ~ Marquise de Sevigne _

1

Sixteen year old, Levana Rhoswen, stepped off the Hogwarts Express after her friends, dragging the scarlet suitcase behind her. Lily Evans turned to see where the blonde had disappeared to and followed her friend's blue eyed gaze. She felt her own eyes roll upon resting on what she was looking at. From the crowd a messy haired boy appeared shouting her name, the red haired teenage turned and promptly began walking in the opposite direction.

"James, it's been a matter of minutes can't your harassment wait?" Levana tuned out the rest of Lily's scolding, she knew what would follow. Her attention turned back to the suitcase and she successfully managed to unload it from the train. It landed with a heavy thump. It was the last time she was letting her mother pack.

"Yo Rhoswen!" She twisted round to come face to face with none other than Sirius Black and his best smirk.

"Oh God." She rolled her eyes, readjusted her hold on her luggage and began to stride towards the waiting carriages. That failed to wipe the smirk of his face and instead only encouraged him. "You know usually when someone gives you a greeting you would return it." He swerved in front of her and came to a halt, causing her to do the same.

"Fine, good evening, Black." She side stepped around him and continued towards the castle. He chuckled softly, recognizing her bad mood and fell into step beside her.

"Much better, dear Levana." She rolled her eyes again but despite herself a smile twitched at the corner of her lips. "Now there's a beautiful sight." He barked a laugh as she shoved him with her free hand, unable now to keep a small grin from her face.

A way off James Potter had been watching with a bemused look on his face he gazed at the pair.

"So how long do you think it'll take?" He cut through Lily's ranting and the entire group of students, Lily and Levana's friends, plus the remaining Marauders turned to see.

"What on earth are you talking about? As if Levana would even consider such things, it's beyond me how they have that bizarre friendship of theirs but believe you me it shall go no further!" Lily scoffed, crossing her arms definitely. Behind her the two other girls exchanged a glance.

"I wouldn't be so sure." The taller one spoke up, her brown hair cut to a bob.

"Honestly, Gemma." The red head stared, shaking her head disapprovingly.

"Hmmmmm." Her other girl considered it, a smile dancing in her hazel eyes. Her hair was slightly longer an inch or so past her shoulders and with a reddish tint to the dark brown.

"Not you too, Katie."

"I say by Christmas." The tallest boy in their group concluded, an Irish twang catching his words. The lenses of his glasses framed with thick expensive looking black polymer, his black hair was tightly curled in a short dishevelled heap .

"Really, Dan?" His friend beside him asked, eyebrows raised. "It's been a while now, if something were to happen don't you think it would have by now?"

"Thank you, Tim!" Lily smiled triumphantly at the green eyed male.

"Four months."

"Gemma!"

"Nah, Five."

"Katie!" Remus Lupin watched the spectacle in amusement, stood back with Peter awaiting the final outcome.

"Hmmm... Padfoot and Rhoswen. Yup! I like it, I say two months!" James declared to the group, earning him a thump, with growing irritation Lily Evans turned and stalked away. The Potter boy gave his friends a despairing glance and ran after her, trying with little success to recapture her attention.

"So, any other bets?"

**_x. Ever Close Your Eyes, Ever Stop And Listen .x_**

Levana's attempts to re-locate her friends only managed to get herself isolated with Sirius and made them last to reach Hogwarts. They swept into the entrance and the waiting, nervous, first years turned to watch. From the ease they had with each other, they could have held a stronger relationship than the one they currently had. Many of the youngsters first assumption was they were in fact boyfriend and girlfriend, though their unlinked hands corrected them. Their outward appearances contrasted, she was fair haired he had dark locks, she had stunning blue eyes whilst his were a smouldering grey. Yet they complimented each other so well. These were the reasons their friends considered them on the brick of a mutual attraction and passerbys in Hogsmeade did a double take.

Sirius felt their stares and a raised eyebrow was enough for the new students to redirect their stares uncomfortably to the floor. His returned gaze found she was no longer on his left and was instead climbing the stairs off to the side. He glanced back, confused, at the doors leading into the Great Hall but shrugged and followed her regardless. She was rummaging around in the various pet cages when he reached her. She located the silver carrier she was looking for and pulled it towards her.

"Tadda!" She flashed a grin, her fingers moving to work on the latch.

"I didn't know you had a ca-." He was cut off by her opening the square barred front. "Puppy." She laughed as the ball of energy launched into her arms, its tail wagging madly at the sight of her. "I don't recall dogs being allowed into Hogwarts."

"Then what are you doing here?" His face visibly paled, she didn't know how ironic that rhetorical question was. For once, he was pleased that the attention was not on him. It took him a moment to compose himself. "Ha ha ha." Sarcasm dripped off his tone.

"She was a birthday present. Thank you, by the way, for my gift." She added, standing to give him a brief one armed hug, her right hand still clutching her pet. He returned the embrace without hesitation.

"Ah, _mon belle_! I knew you would cave to my charm in the end!" She shook her head but smiled nonetheless, pushing him gently away. He shot her a grin and stroked the jet black puppy. "Ah she's not a bad little thing, I don't mind looking after her if you're ever short." He flashed a satisfied smile as the short tail wagged, her head curving into his hand revealing a white patch in the centre of her chest.

"Thanks but Ruth and Storm have got me covered on that one. They're the reason Minc's here, between them and Hagrid they managed to convince Dumbledore." She laughed placing the pup back in the carrier and murmuring a promise to see her later.

**_x. You Don't Need A Reason Let The Day Go On And On .x_**

The Great Hall would mean facing her peers rumours when they saw her alone with him and that was something she would rather avoid. Instead she suggested a trip to the kitchens. They reached the familiar portrait and leant forward to tickle the pear.

"This brings back memories." Sirius chuckled.

"Three years, right?" When they had been in third year (after an unfortunate incident in class where Sirius accidentally hexed Levana and she in retaliation flung him across the room with a spell of her own) they'd shared a detention. After two and a half hours of sorting through their professor's unkempt shelves and swearing her to secrecy, he lead her to the kitchens where they enjoyed their own long awaited evening meal. It had only been the fifth or sixth time they'd really spoke to each other. Aside from the odd single sentence communications inside the Gryffindor common room where he would ask her a question thus obliging her to answer or vice versa they'd largely had little to do with the other.

"Levana?" She blinked, realising she'd been staring and the painting had already opened up. She turned and walked hurriedly into the kitchen with an amused Sirius following behind her.

"Did you have a good summer at James' then? You mentioned you were there in your letter. Home alright?" She added, once they'd sat at one of the benches. He nodded from opposite her, his smile becoming more fixed. She noticed and threw him a questioning glance. He shrugged and she nodded accepting that he didn't feel like talking about it, not just yet, by the apologizing glance he then sent her. She gave a soft smile in return, her eyes wandering to the fire in the corner as they sat in companionable silence.

"How about you?" She raised her head to look back up at him, after a moments pause she cleared her throat.

"They were tolerable. Though mine would never match Orion and Walburga Black, my mother's just a bitch most of the time but my dad can be nice just a bit too arrogant. Thank god for my siblings." He gave her a wan smile.

"Behind closed doors, huh?"

"Exactly." She agreed. Yes, it was funny how their parents could be so different in public. Though, Levana knew and regarded her poor relationship with her mother as nothing compared to Sirius's family troubles. She surveyed him in silence, his boyishness seemed to fade momentarily from his features but his shoulders were relaxed with the knowledge that at least someone knew, even only slightly, how he felt. And that to the young Black was comforting.

"I ran away from home." He admitted waiting for her reaction. Her eyebrows furrowed but the blue gaze was not horrified; accepting instead. Yes, it was very comforting indeed.

**_x. Every Summer Sun, Every Winter Evening, Every Spring To Come .x _**

Their laughter filled the kitchens some time later and together, still chuckling, they emerged.

"Ssssh, ssssh!" She tried to hush between giggles, the time had flown and they'd found themselves out past the allowed hours. Sirius chuckled and drew his arm around her guiding her down the corridor. They managed to subdue themselves to wheezed laughs, creeping through the various corridors. He stepped out from behind a shield, her close behind him, only to reverse and squash them both back into the tiny passage.

"Filch." He hissed, peeping through the minute gap. This was so much easier when he had the map, though perhaps not as fun, he decided. "The old bugger." She bit her lip to prevent another giggle from escaping but he caught the smile and flashed a broad grin at her. Had it not been that this was the third time she'd found herself in a confined space with the Black she would have found it incredibly awkward, but now the initial embarrassment had worn off. The caretaker vanished and after a short pause he climbed out offering her his hand.

"After you _belle dame_." She grinned taking it and, exaggerating grace, stepped into the corridor.

"Why thank you, _bon monsieur._" He chuckled, raising their hands and twisting his fingers so she twirled. She laughed softly, before the sound of footsteps greeted their ears. Breaking into a run they bolted towards the stairs, flashing a grin at each other as they went.

They arrived at the common room a few minutes later, out of breath but still smiling broadly. Levana gasped out the new password Storm had informed her of on the journey in, her older sister now being Head Girl, and the duo scrambled into the Gryffindor quarters. Waiting was said girl accompanied with their youngest sister Ruth, who'd probably refused to go to bed until the middle sibling had returned.

"Levana."

"Storm." She suspected the others had been sent to their dorms and would be waiting to pounce on them. Out of no where Minc appeared and bounded towards her. She felt her lips curve upwards again, catching the over excited puppy. She looked up to find Sirius being eyed by her siblings, he'd simply turned his head away impassively. Biding them goodnight he swiftly crossed the room to the boy dormitory's stairs. Her siblings waited until the door had clicked shut before bombarding her with questions. Stern exteriors quickly evaporating and with curious smiles they clutched onto either arm of their sister, excitement making their eyes dance mischievously.

"Tell us everything Levana." So she did, also repeating throughout that they were friends and they were making a big deal out of nothing. The other Rhoswens thought the contrary as would her friends when she regurgitated her dwellings to a keen Katie, an amused Gemma and an initially disapproving Lily who quickly became very interested.

_**x. What A Way, What A Way To Make It Through  
What A Day, What A Day To Take To A Wild Child .x**_


	2. Attractions

**Under My Skin **

_x. Attractions .x_

"Attraction is not a choice." - David DeAngelo

**2**

The following morning felt like they'd never left, with the exception of their new timetables.

"Charms, Transfig, Potions, Ancient runes, History of Magic, Astronomy, Arithmacy. Are you mad?" Gemma stared after reading Levana's schedule.

"Katie and Lily are talking Astronomy and Arithmacy too." She quickly defended herself, nodding at the dark haired girl opposite of her.

"Yes, but you're also going to take History of Magic and Ancient Runes. You'll be bored to death by the time we've graduated." Katie abolished, pouring her drink out and shooting a glare for bringing her into it. The blonde snatched the pair's own timetables and her eyes scanned quickly over them.

"Herbology and Muggle Studies? But we already know about Muggles and why would you want to continue with plants?" The table fell silent the other two searching for a rebuttal then in walked Lily.

"I suppose you'll be taking the same classes as Levana?" Gemma looked up one eyebrow raised expectantly. The red head nodded, reaching for the plate Levana handed her in exchange for a questioning look. To this the Rhoswen simply rolled her eyes and the conversation started again. Behind her the Marauders had just made their entrance, minus one.

"Good morning, Lily!" A cheery James grinned, settling beside Ruth, Peter beside him whilst Sirius went to Levana. She glanced up from her borrowed copy of Witch Weekly to flash a smile before turning back to the article, trying to ignore her friend's scorning reply. The dark haired boy edged closer, examining the magazine over her shoulder.

"You don't actually believe that do you?" She raised her gaze to meet his and shrugged, watching as he leaned back, an impassive expression marking his features. "It's all rubbish."

"Oh really? Pray tell, what the great Sirius Black thinks an attraction is." A grin spread onto his lips as he casually fiddled with the piece of toast on his plate.

"Well it's all about physical appearance, looks; that's what inspires an attraction." An amused smile curved her lips upwards, across from them his statement had caught Katie's attention and she was less than impressed.

"So it's all about looks to you, then? Whichever is the most beautiful?" She frowned, a glare forming from his depiction.

"No. You misunderstand; an attraction is just someone catching your eye. It's superficial, it's what comes after that counts. Personality, brains etcetera, that's what develops the attraction." He clarified, reaching for an apple.

"For you Black, that was quite deep." Levana teased to which both girls laughed. He pretended to be offended though his manners prevented him from replying - not one to talk with his mouthful.

"What do you think it means?" Katie turned to Levana. The blonde girl looked back at her hazel eyed friend, silent for a moment contemplating her answer. She knew where this was leading.

"There's a difference between knowing someone is attractive and being attracted to them." She answered eventually. Sirius was confused because her statement only made sense to them. But their expressions made him decide to _not ask_.

**x. So I keep coming back , I can't help myself .x**

Potions with Slughorn was first. Levana waved her sister off to join her own friends before proceeding to the dungeons with the rest of the group who'd all opted to take the subject, even Tim. She grinned to the light brunette boy, linking his arm as he groaned a protest. Undoubtedly it had been her own pressure that had forced his hand chose the lesson. Still, she felt little guilt. He was bright and so should use the brain he had been given.

"Ah, welcome, welcome!" Their teacher greeted upon their entering. "Don't sit down just yet. Since we are now NEWT students I feel that every measure must be put into place to ensure maximum classroom efficiency. Therefore, I have produced a seating plan." There was an inaudible groan from the pupils as they saw the piece of parchment clasped in his hand. Typical. This was where she regretted Tim's predicament because much to his horror he was sat beside Lucius Malfoy. She mouthed an apology to him. Unluckily for her she was partnered with Bellatrix Black. Levana looked back at her friends and saw their equal mortification at her misfortune.

"Don't be afraid to kick her ass." Sirius murmured to her, his eyes trained on his cousin. She nodded, turning to take her seat.

"This is certainly a surprise, Rhoswen." Bellatrix commented sliding onto the stool beside her as the various remaining names were called.

"Indeed it is, Black." She responded drawing out the stationary from her bag. Neither of the girls had ever formally clashed before, seemingly forming a silent agreement to simply stay away from the other after a brief cold exchange. She had acknowledged a friendship between Levana and Sirius which had appeared to please her at the time. Bellatrix was still a Black after all and the Rhoswen family were esteemed. Thus both parties had demonstrated a mutual respect. But that could soon be altered.

"My father tells me that your grandmother falls ill." Levana's grip on her books tightened and her head snapped to the right, meeting Bellatrix's cool gaze. "My condolences." She forced herself to relax her rigid shoulders and take a steadying breath.

"She is not dead, Bellatrix." She replied coldly, reverting her eyes to the front of the room. The other didn't reply and they lapsed into silence. Professor Slughorn assigned them their first task, pairing according to seating arrangements. "If you prepare the pot, I'll get the ingredients." Levana rose and without waiting for a reply moved to the store cupboard.

"You seemed to be having quite the discussion with Bella." She twisted round in her reaching for the toad's tongue and saw Sirius behind her.

"Things aren't always what they seem." She answered, moving to exit. He gave her a small smile and went to collect his own items. She returned to the desk with her arms full to find Bellatrix waiting. To her surprise Bellatrix was not interested in leaving all the work to her and instead took a knife and began chopping up a tentacle.

"I heard Professor Mendor was planning on creating a duelling club. Fancy joining, Rhoswen?" Bellatrix casually asked, throwing the diced flesh into the potion. A smirk curved her lips upwards as she awaited the blonde's answer.

"I may pass on that one."

"Are you scared, Levana?"

"What?"

"Yes, I think you're scared of me."

"Like hell." She turned and unflinching levelled the smirking gaze. The grey colouring clashed harshly against Levana's blue and still they stared each other out. After a while Bellatrix broke eye contact and chuckled.

"You're not bad, Rhoswen. We may get on better than I thought."

**x. Everything for me , To leave you alone .x**

"It's typical that she would like you, you're a pure-blood." Sirius broke the silence in the group, later that evening, when they sat in the common room after Levana finally told them about Potions with Bellatrix. "A Rhoswen." He added, there was no point getting offended they all knew he was right.

"Perhaps, but she was tolerable and that's all that matters." She stood, stretched her arms and nudged the puppy that had fallen asleep on her lap. "By the way, where's Remus?" They were all used to him missing school but had yet to hear the explanation behind it this time.

"He's at his aunt's funeral." Her mouth formed an "oh" and she nodded slowly. At that moment Storm returned, it took one look for Levana to realise something was wrong. Her heart picked up its beat and she caught her older sibling's eye. Rising, she followed the elder Rhoswen out of the room and up to her dormitory. Her friends sent Storm's questioning glances but they simply averted their gazes, something was up.

Up in the seventh year quarters Levana closed the door softly behind her and waited for Storm to speak. After a stretched pause the older girl motioned for her sibling to sit on the bed beside her's and took one of her hands.

"Grandma isn't going to get better Levana, they expect her to go tonight." The fairer haired girl visibly paled and stared wordlessly. Her insides did a painful clench at the news she had prayed would not come. "There's nothing more they can do for her. Mam and dad are there now but they want us to stay here. Melarie is travelling home, she should arrive tonight." She couldn't breathe, something had tightened round her throat and restricted her airways. She nodded slowly, weakly, before shakily gathering her wits and moving to leave. "Where are you going?" She turned in the doorway, a slight frown pulling her eyebrows downwards.

"Umm, Minc needs a walk." The words stumbled off her tongue and stiffly she proceeded down the stairs, feeling physically sick. The Marauders had disappeared, night had fallen. How long had she been gone for? It only felt like 5 minutes. Katie, Lily and Gemma sat waiting in the common room in pyjamas, from the sympathetic looks, Claire, Storm's best friend, must have returned and informed them. She whistled for Minc and the pup obeyed running to her owner. Then without any other communication she turned and left the common room.

**x. You make it harder for me, Don't wanna get up .x**

The next day dawned and still there was no word from any other Rhoswens. Levana took this as a good sign; that maybe there was still a chance. She felt the irony of the situation and it left a bitter taste in her mouth. The same day Bellatrix Black comments on her grandparent's declining condition she is informed of the inevitability that she won't ever be seeing Halenia Rhoswen alive again.

"Good morning, dear Levana!" A happy Sirius bounded into the Great Hall the following day oblivious to her fall in spirits. From across the room he caught Tim sat at the Ravenclaw table watching her, Dan beside him chatting away about god knows what whilst the other boy paid no attention whatsoever. "Yo, speaking of attractions I'm sure there's something going on with you and the blonde boy." She looked up for the first time since he'd joined them at the table, and saw her friend. He sent her a reassuring smile which she returned with a tired one of her own. Sirius's eyebrows rose, mistranslating them instantly into something they were not.

"Tim's one of my best friend's that's it." She explained. "He lives round the corner from me so we've been mates for a while. And he's not blonde." She sighed upon seeing his disbelieving expression but lacked the energy or will to continue any further.

"But do you think he's attractive?" He pressed, a teasing twinkle in his eyes.

"Yes, but I also think you're attractive and that does mean i'm_ attracted_ to r of you." She responded sarcastically, not particularly bothered at the current moment to pay much attention to the teenager. After that however, he didn't say anything else on the subject. He was too busy replaying her words in his head. _'I also think you're attractive..' _

**x. And I know, That I should leave her alone, I'm in a fatal attraction .x **


	3. Luck

**Under My Skin **

_x. Luck .x _

"Luck has a peculiar habit of favoring those who don't depend on it" - _Unknown_

**3 **

Two days passed and still there was no word from her family, Levana continued to hope. Ruth and Storm remained optimistic but when they thought she wasn't looking their smiles would die and a far away expression would replace them. After one particularly strained evening Levana found herself wandering the corridors, not knowing what she was searching for until she stumbled upon an empty classroom. The familiar hushed voices caught her attention. She managed to open it a fraction further and peered inside to find the three Marauders (still minus Remus) huddled over a piece of parchment. Her eyebrows rose and with slow steps she crept into the room and stood a little way off, hidden in the darker side where the moonlight failed to reach.

"I reckon if we take him into the forest after nine then we won't be seen, we'd just take these passages." James was speaking. The more she listened the more she came to decipher that the yellowed parchment must be a map. What on earth were they up to now? Suddenly, Sirius's head snapped up and began glancing about the room, her insides froze as his eyes fell on her.

"Levana. How long have you been there for?" His friends stopped talking abruptly and paled, she found herself under the scrutiny of three pairs of eyes. Swallowing, she cleared her throat.

"A while." She took a few steps closer, a frown formed on her features as James quickly grabbed the 'map' and stuffed it into his cloak's pocket. "What's that?"

"What's what?" He tried lamely. She shook head, her eyes rolling, and flicked her wand. The parchment flew into her grasp before they could react. She unravelled it in one swift notion and stared at the side displayed. Her jaw went slack. Sirius was the first to recover, quickly moving beside her. "It's not what it looks like." James tried again but the Black saw better of it.

"Swear." Her gaze darted back to him before reverting once more to the object clasped in her hand. Amazement spread across her features. "Swear you won't tell a soul."

"I swear." She murmured much to the relief of the other two males behind him who visibly sighed, their shoulders sagging as they untensed. Sirius himself took in a deep breath, closing his eyes momentarily before flashing her a grin.

"Good. Now, Miss Levana, what do you see?" She gave a strangled laugh as the reality of the enchanted item sunk in.

"People, passages, the grounds, the castle. Everything." She concluded her eyes flickering from him to the map. He chuckled motioning to various features and explaining to her how it worked. His friends watched perplexed.

"Umm, Padfoot?" Peter spoke up, not quite believing what he was seeing. The teenagers looked back at the two bemused boys and Sirius simply shrugged. So he trusted her, and seemed content in her being in on one of their secrets. James raised his eyebrows. That was new. But then, there seemed to be some concept to their friendship that they just weren't grasping. There was also the fact that she'd discovered it and so it was pointless to really do anything but explain. Still, he wouldn't have imagined it would be Sirius doing it.

"So, who were you talking about?" That was something he wasn't willing to share, none of them were. She read it in his expression and tactfully changed the subject. She was awarded a grateful smile in return from the dark haired male.

"I'm telling you Wormtail, two months." James grinned at his friend, he was convinced he going to win the bet.

**_x. Thinking you are never boring, Speeding through the night_** **_.x_**

The revelation on the Marauders lightened her spirits immensely being something to distract her from the uncertainty previously weighing her down. Not only was it something to mull over but it also made her wonder what other secrets the four boys held. The following afternoon she found herself headed off to Hagrid's hut to collect Minc accompanied by Katie. They stopped out of engrained politeness for a short visit.

"'A found these prints th' other day in tha' forest. 'Uge, as big as Minc ova there, gave me a right ol' fright they did." He chuckled to himself recounting his tale. Her friend's eyebrows rose, shifting uneasily in her seat, Levana snatched a sideways glance, failing to squash the smile crawling onto her lips.

"What do you think they are, Hagrid?" She looked back at him, placing the half drank cup of tea back on the table as her curiosity rose at what lay amongst the forbidden trees.

"I couldn tell ya, Levana. But one thing is f'sure, I wouldn like to meet it." She nodded her thoughts straying once more to the Marauders and considering if she should ask them. It wouldn't surprise her if they had some other gadget, if the map could not, to identify what ever if was. They left shortly after, thanking him and promising to return soon.

"What do you think it is then?" Katie asked her as they walked back to the castle. The sun already setting in the sky.

"I don't know." She admitted still contemplating questioning James or Sirius, but decided in the end better of it, in case the fools were to actually go venturing in to see for themselves. Katie shrugged, quickly moving the conversation away from the matter, it unnerved her, much to the blonde's amusement.

"Remember that we have extra Astronomy tonight. Who's taking Minc?" The blonde froze in her tracks uttering a soft groan. "You forgot didn't you? What are you like Levana?"

"Yes, and I really am _not_ in the mood to sit staring into space tonight. I could actually do with an early night." Thankfully her friends hadn't pushed her for an explanation, all she had to say was that she was with him and endure the grins sent her way. Now Katie gave her the same sly smile and rolled her eyes. "It's still not like that." She sighed, not that it was worth repeating again. She was just wasting her breath, then a thought struck her. "Sirius will take her, he offered before." She quickly regretted saying it out loud.

_**x. Living for today but you just can't find tomorrow .x**_

"What do you mean you **can't** take her? You said you would." A couple of hours later Levana scowled at the young Black who looked back at her guiltily. Stood in the common room a little further off from the others and holding the puppy expectantly in her arms she glared at him.

"I'm sorry, I really am, just something came up." She felt her temper rising and turned swiftly away from him. "I'll make it up to you, I promise!" She scoffed shooting him another dirty look and stormed up to her dormitory. Ruth had detention, no surprises, Storm was on duty tonight and Gemma was suffering at the hands of Slughorn . She considered taking Minc with her but then her professor would be less than impressed if she started barking or wanted to play or even worse, broke something. She sighed, Hagrid was the only other option. But it was already getting late and although she knew he enjoyed the puppy's company she couldn't help but feel like she was passing on a burden. After considering it again she concluded it was her only suitable option. Re-entering the common room she found it empty, the Marauders had again vanished and everyone else was in their dorms or headed to the Astronomy tower. She groaned, not only was she going to dump her dog on the Games Keeper but she was going to be late. Racing out of the Gryffindor quarters she sprinted through the castle, sliding out of Hogwarts and onto the grounds. She paused to catch her breath, Minc squirming in her arms.

"Alright, alright." She grumbled, releasing her hold. Straightening up, she began walking back down the track she'd been treading upwards only a matter of hours ago. The puppy trotted ahead, attempting to catch the grasshoppers springing up from the overgrown patches of grass. She smiled watching the mischievous antics. The dog halted abruptly, her ears pricked and her posture locking, eyes fixed on the Forbidden Forest. "Minc." Levana warned, taking hurried steps towards her. She reached out to grasp her collar, fingertips inches away. Minc bolted, acting instinctively she chased after her, following the puppy into the trees.

_**x. Now every single day, I just wanna hear you saying .x**_

The wind ran through Padfoot's fur as his paws made blurred contact with the ground. Parallel to him was Moony, his tongue hanging out the side of mouth as he kept pace. Behind galloped Prongs with Wormtail wrapped securely around his antlers. The moon shone brightly in the sky but they took no heed and continued to run, free and without any worries. The night was still young. With their agility and stamina they could keep this up for extended periods of time, reducing any worry for potential dangers. Plus, they had a werewolf on their side. But that wouldn't last. A scent caught Padfoot's nose, familiar, feminine, his heart jerked. He quickly snatched a glance at his friend and with growing horror noticed he wasn't the only one to have smelt her. The blood thirsty howl rang in his ears.

**_x. You can fool yourself, I promise it will help .x_**

Levana froze. Her heart erratically pounded in her chest, her breathing became more difficult. She was in the Forbidden Forest. _Fool! _She screamed at herself, searching frantically all around her. The same howl came again. Left? Right? She couldn't decide. She'd cornered Minc but for now the puppy remained forgotten. Again another howl, the heavy thud of an approaching force accompanied it, matching the blood pounding in her ears. Then it all went silent. _Shit, shit, shit. _With slow movements she reached for her wand, the Yew wood felt strong under her shaking fingers, at 11 and 1/2 inches its pommel rested in her palm easily without submerging her hand fully in the pocket of her coat and made it perfect for a quick drawing counter attack. Subconsciously her fingers traced the Aquamarine gem in its handle and served to cool her nerves, granting her the clarity to think straight. She knew hexes and defensive spells, she just had to focus on her target and be ready. _Be ready. _Then they burst through the trees. A werewolf with a larger than normal dog latched onto it landed a matter of feet away from her.

_**x. Even though you said, It would never end it's over .x**_

Padfoot's teeth clamped down onto Moony's flesh. He threw his weight to the right and managed to successfully floor him. Sirius snatched a brief glance at the blonde girl, but the distraction cost him and the werewolf managed to cast him off. His back made sharp contact with an oak. Prongs hadn't caught up yet, he wasn't as fast as the two canines were. Moony made for the Rhoswen girl, but she was quick.

"_Incendio!" _She called the flames bursting from the tip of her wand. The werewolf yelped, leaping back as his coat was singed and the scent of his own skin burning accompanied a flash of scorching pain. Staring with mad eyes at the girl it dived back into the shrubbery. But it was not gone. It was waiting, for the opportune moment to pounce again. It got behind her and charged.

"_Impedimenta!"_ The force of her jinx sent him flying backwards and he slammed into a boulder to find his legs also bound. She turned to the dog lying injured, and was unnerved by how he was staring at her.

Sirius Black, had never been more turned on. But that attraction would have to wait, she had moved to his side and was looking at the wound on his shoulder and he saw what she didn't. Whilst she was healing the gash with a charm her spell on Moony was wearing off and he had already rose when Sirius noticed him stalking towards them.

"Hold still I'm nearly finished, geez I'm sorry! I know it takes me fifteen flipping minutes but I'm not as good as Lily at Charms!" She snapped, on edge as he squirmed. He jumped back onto his paws and met the werewolf in his lunge, in the process of their scrap she was knocked sideways and separated from her wand. She sat up and to her horror watched crimson spread down one side of her vision. She reached up to touch her forehead and found her fingers stained with blood. The adrenaline coursing through her body had temporarily disguised pain and for now it still took the brunt of it. She searched on hands and knees for her wand. Behind she sensed a closer movement and looked over her shoulder to see the beast pounce onto her. She reacted on impulse and raised her hands to cover herself. Staring up through the gap in her barricade the air caught in her throat. He was _levitating_. **_She_****was****levitating**** him**. She scrambled onto her feet again, keeping her hands raised and therefore the werewolf in place. Her brow furrowed in concentration and summoning a source of energy she shoved him away, releasing her grip on him. She glanced about quickly locating her wand and summoned it to her in the same fashion. That was her fatal mistake, she took her eyes off her opponent. A whimper snapped her focus to the dog again and saw that it had taken the blow that was meant for her. She raised her wand but they were back fighting again and she couldn't risk hitting her protector.

"Levana!"

"Levana!"

"Professor! Hagrid!" She called desperately and the last thing she remembered seeing were the silhouettes of McGonagall and the Games Keeper carrying Minc before her strength deserted her and everything went dark.

_**x. There's nothing you can do, To keep it out .x**_

Sirius heard the call of his teachers, James had finally found him and now together they drove him away from the approaching group. He glanced back to see Levana collapse and felt himself become instantly weaker. Gaining a safe distance Moony came very suddenly back to his senses and gave a low whine. Thankfully morning was approaching and the moon was moments from disappearing again for another month. Seconds later Remus Lupin stood before them, his clothes tattered. Quickly his friends returned to their human forms in time to grip onto his arms to stop him from also fainting.

"I've killed her, I've killed Levana!" He moaned, too exhausted to cry and resist Peter and James guiding him back to the castle, to the hospital wing where he would be treated for the injuries he had also attained. Sirius turned and clutching onto his side made his way back to the fair haired teenager, surrounded by their Headmaster, Head of House and Hagrid.

"Is she alright?" He coughed, wincing visibly despite his best attempts to suppress it. "Is Levana alright?"

"Yes, she escaped infection, but I would suggest that we get you both to Madame Pomfrey immediately, I believe you've both attained enough damage without adding anything further. Come, it is very fortunate you found Minc, Hagrid, very fortunate indeed." Dumbledore placed a hand on his shoulder and steered him away to the school, the half giant carrying the unconscious teenager with her professor baring the dog under one arm, her other hand clutching her student's want.

_**x. You can never be forever, Young and clever .x**_

Levana awoke some hours later beautifully warm but with a monstrous headache. She groaned, moving to sit up and found herself in the hospital wing, her forehead healed. In a rush everything came back to her and she lunged for the paper tray on the side of her bed only to vomit the contents of her stomach into it. A figure burst through the curtains surrounding her, stopping dead when they realised she had regained consciousness. It was Sirius. He watched her shudder, hesitated, before moving to sit beside her. Gently he rubbed her back pulling strands of hair away from her face and tucking them behind her ears.

"Thanks." She gasped once finished, he nodded taking the basin from her and placing it back onto the draws. They sat without speaking for a while and she noted him wearing pyjamas. Confusion flashed across her face and silently he watched her put everything into place. Her fingers moved to brush lightly across his ribs and found them bandaged. Her eyes widened.

"You're an Animagus." She breathed. Swallowing, he nodded. "You were the dog." She glanced down to where her fingers lay and felt a wave of guilt. "That's my fault, I'm so sorry Sirius. Thank you. I'm really sorry, Sirius." He reached down and laced their hands together, his thumb tracing a pattern over her knuckles he opened his mouth to reply but was cut off.

"Don't apologize Levana." A voice croaked, she blinked looking up to find the curtains part once more and a shaken Remus appear. His complexion was very pale and dark circles marked his eyes partnered with other signs of exhaustion decorating his features. He was a mess. She stared, again, they waited for her to figure it out. They didn't have to wait long.

"You're a werewolf!" She gasped. Sirius's grip tightened and he sent her a pleading glance, begging her to not judge their friend. She regained her composure, shutting her mouth and blinking to weaken her gaze.

"Please forgive me, Levana. I didn't mean to attack you, it was an accident, I don't have control and I-." She raised her left hand, asking for quiet so she could process the new information. A heavy pause followed as she stared down at the bed sheets, feeling weaker than ever. This was an overload. She swallowed with difficulty and looking back at the distraught teenage boy.

"It's alright Remus. It's not your fault." She managed eventually. Her mouth dry and the words scratching her throat as she forced them out. "It's fine, don't worry about it."

"Swear." Sirius murmured softly, blue eyes glanced into his grey ones before reverting back to Remus.

"I swear. I won't tell anyone Remus." The relief visibly washing over him pulled at her heart strings. Tonight he would sleep free off torment, his guilt lifted a considerable amount. "Get some rest." He nodded thanking her and, smiling again, left the pair alone.

"You amaze me." She blinked, looking quizzically back at the other teenager. "The way you fought, the way you just took all that in your stride. You amaze me." He repeated shrugging as if the confession made him feel awkward. Despite her headache, despite the ridiculous situation she'd found herself in, she felt her lips curve upwards. Yes, he was feeling awkward.

"I'm not so amazing. I was terrified the entire time and that just there really threw me. I wouldn't say that I "took it all in my stride", I just made the situation tolerable. I'm selfish like that." He shook his head, disagreeing entirely but chose to not push the topic further. Instead he continued to trace the same pattern on her knuckles and they lapsed into a content silence. "How long have you been Animagai for? Assuming James and Peter are too." Again, he found her perceptiveness remarkable.

"A while." He answered with a coy smile.

"Teach me."

"Pardon?"

"Teach me."

"No."

"Why not?" She snapped wriggling her hand free from his grasp and sending him an indignant glare. He struggled not to chuckle at her scowl which only served to fuel her temper further.

"You've been very lucky as it is, Levana. You've had an immense amount of luck surviving something like that, don't push it." She scoffed, pushing her covers back and swinging her legs out of the bed, ignoring the various aches and pains. "Don't be stupid, get back in bed." She sent him another glare and strode out of her cubicle.

"If you can do it I think I can too." She snapped moving to collect her clothing and wand, she hesitated noticing the vile placed beside them.

"Ah, Miss Rhoswen I see you're up and about." Madame Pomfrey appeared from her office a vague smile on her lips. "Yes, that's yours dear, take it and don't be so reckless in the future." She nodded, muttering her thanks, and drained the medicine, shuddering at the horrendous twang it left in her mouth. Turning she found Sirius surveying her with an amused smile. The potion took it's effect instantly and numbed the remainder of her bruises and pounding headache. She rolled her eyes tightening her grip on her uniform and moved back to the cot, flicking her wand so the curtains moved to encase her, and quickly changed.

"Where are you going?" He sighed, following her through the corridors a short while later. He chose the wrong day not to go to Hogsmeade.

"The Library." She replied shortly, lengthening her stride and much to her agitation found him easily keeping pace with her. "If you're not going to teach me then I'll do it myself, it can't be that difficult if _you_ managed." She added. He rolled his eyes ignoring her last comment. She swept into the large hall, shelves upon shelves of books making up the contents. Searching through countless sections he dully traipsed round after her. Finally she placed her hands on hips and surveyed yet another shelf, her resolve was slowly depleting.

"You're really that intent on becoming one?" He asked, watching her finger trace another row. She gave a curt nod refusing to give him eye contact. "Fine." He sighed. "You win. I'll teach you." Maybe she was incredibly lucky.

**_x. Now every single day I just wanna hear you say it, I'm so lucky lucky .x_**


	4. Change

**Under My Skin**

_x. Change .x_

"We change, whether we like it or not." ~ _Ralph Waldo Emerson_

**4 **

"I hope you don't expect to get this all in one day. It took us two years." He raised his eyebrows as she removed her cloak and rolled her sleeves up, raising her hands to tie the long strands of blonde hair out of her face whilst sliding her shoes off her feet. They'd been at it for three hours straight now, James and Peter had even returned from Hogsmeade, stopped by for an hour, then disappeared again promising to return after dinner.

"Right." She murmured offhandedly, he rolled his eyes and she flashed a grin. "I got you Professor! Whilst you had to work it all out by yourselves I have a _fabulous_ teacher, so I'm basically just following instructions." She teased, his lips twitched upwards, before she once again attempted to transform. Her brow furrowed in concentration, her fingers clenching into fists at her sides. She stopped abruptly, her cheeks coloured red. He raised his eyebrows at her again, struggling to squash the smile threatening to spill onto his face, and she reluctantly turned round to find a rip in the back of her skirt, a long black tail swished signalling her discomfort. He couldn't help himself, he burst out laughing. She blushed again quickly summoning her magic to make it disappear.

"It's not **that** funny." She snapped defensively, twisting her skirt round so it was on her hip and mending the split with her wand. He chuckled, wiping tears from his eyes, and pointed to her head. She paled slowly turning to catch her reflection in the classroom's mirror, thank god they were using a Charm's room. Her hair had turned black and bushy, a full fringe replacing her side and bangs. Worse still two ears pointed out from behind the thick strands. They swivelled forward upon staring at her reflection then pinned backwards when Sirius began roaring with laughter once more. Her face closely resembled a tomato as she undid her transformation and sent a glare at the young Black.

"Your blonde hair suits you far better." He teased, a twinkle dancing in his eyes cheekily. "It's all very well being able to shift back _ma belle _but I don't think you've quite grasped the concept of a full transformation." He chuckled.

"Well, _mon chou_, why don't you help?" She ground out, her embarrassment pressing on her patience. He sighed, seeing her mood change, and moved to stand behind her. He raised her arms so they were pointed out on either side before placing a hand on the centre of her back.

"Collect your magic here, like I told you. But instead of trying to force it where you want it to go just let it consume your body, allow it to travel all over you." She glanced back at him over her shoulder.

"That's easier said than done." He felt the corner of his lip twitch again. It was something he'd also found difficult; just letting the magic take over. It had been incredibly unnerving not being entirely in control of something within his own anatomy, he understood her reluctance.

"Just concentrate, Levana." He told her softly. He turned to be on her right, considering his options, it wasn't something he could exactly demonstrate. Her eyes strayed to meet his and everything seemed to slow down. Her heart beat picked up as she felt his fingers slide easily across her arm to the base of her neck, then down her back. "There are distinct pathways for it to travel, direct it along them but afterwards you have to let them run their course." She nodded not trusting herself to speak. His hands advanced to either of her sides and drifted slowly downwards to her hips. Her skin tingled in response. He blinked, remembering himself and took a step back. "Try again."

She swallowed, taking in a deep breathe. "Right." She nodded, finding her voice. She closed her eyes, gathering her witchcraft and summoning it forward, progressing through all the notions he'd taught her. She collected it in her centre, building it up until it was significantly strong. Taking in another deep breathe she released it. The power soured through her veins, it's strength catching her pleasantly by surprise. It was a pure rush of ecstasy as it took over and coursed through ever inch and ran over her skin in a burst of energy. She heard her clothes shred and tear but paid no heed, enjoying the thrilling sensation.

"Levana." She opened her eyes and found Sirius staring at her. _'What?'_ Nothing came out of her mouth but she felt her head move to the side and her ears flicker back and forth confused. She started, her ears did _**what**__?_ She twisted round and felt herself quiver with excitement. She was a horse. Her tail swished and her ears pricked forward scrutinising herself closely. She snorted blowing down her new nose and shook her head triumphantly, raising onto her back legs to kick out with her front ones. She'd done it. Sirius grinned, watching the spectacle. She brought herself down elegantly, retouching her hooves onto the floor with surprising softness. He turned to the pile of tattered fabrics and shot her an amused glance.

"Next lesson. Morphing with your clothes."

**_x. Over and over I look in your eyes, You were all I desired, You have captured me_** **_.x_**

"She's black."

"Well spotted, Peter." Sirius scoffed, as his friends looked back at the transformed Levana having reappeared shortly after.

"But her hair's blonde..."

"What's your point, Wormtail?" He rolled his eyes at what he deemed to be his friend's idiocy, watching as she swerved in and out of the rows of desks, testing her new body.

"Shouldn't she be one of those yellow horses?" James saw his best friend's patience dwindling.

"Well they had to be compatible some how." He teased, low enough to avoid her overhearing. He expected the other teenager to retaliate but instead his gaze remained fixed on the animagus Rhoswen. His friends' jaws dropped as he moved away without replying.

"You need to transform now, it's nearly night." He told her. She halted looking back at him and reluctantly registered what he was saying. She twisted round, gripped her cloak between her teeth and trotted behind a bookcase. Changing back wasn't such an exhilarating experience. She felt the magic withdraw, leaving her slightly drained.

"Sirius. Can I have your jumper?" A grin stretched at the corners of his lips as he removed said item and passed it round the wooden shelves.

"She didn't actually manage to take her clothes with her." He motioned with a nod of his head to the discarded pile of fabric. She reappeared clutching her cloak around herself, his jumper covering the one gap that would have exposed her chest. She took her shoes from him with a grateful smile. "That'll be next lesson I assume?" She pushed him gently rolling her eyes to hide the colour tint in her cheeks.

"After you_ la belle dame._"

"Merci, _bon monsieur _." She rolled her eyes again, playing along with the cliché moment as she took his offered arm and the duo walked out of the room.

"Well... that was.." James started as they disappeared.

"Different?" Peter suggested quietly.

"No, just weird."

**_x. Now you are here by my side, You are next to me .x_**

With the aid of the Marauders creating a distraction, in the form of dumping a pot full of gunk on a group of unsuspecting second years, she managed to successfully avoid any unwanted attention by bolting up to her dorm. Quickly grabbing fresh clothes she dragged them on, hurling everything else into her trunk. She breathed a deep sigh of relief, a smile spreading across her lips. Suddenly the days events spread warmly through her again, still generating an incredibly fulfilled feeling. She burst into content giggles and collapsed backwards onto her bed, completely happy with the world.

"Levana?" Gemma knocked on the dormitory door raising an eyebrow at her friend. She sat up sharply, a guilty expression written on her face. "Where've you been?" She considered her options, lying wasn't one of them. She would just have to evade the truth.

"With Sirius." That damn knowing smile crawled onto the brunette's face as she sat beside her. She was off the hook as soon as it appeared.

"Oh really? Doing what all day? By the way, how's your head? James said you managed to somehow fall down the stairs, you cluts!" Her friend chuckled affectionately nudging her shoulder. The blonde blinked and nodded, accepting his cover story and making a mental note to thank him later.

"Yeah, umm Pomfrey fixed me up." She shrugged casually. "And nothing happened with Sirius, we just talked a lot." Her friend looked sceptical but still faintly disappointed all the same. A wave of guilt crashed down on her; she was deceiving one of her best friends. Yet, berating herself for forgetting, she realised there was something else she had to tell her. "There was this one moment..." She began, her eyes straying to the side as the memory replayed. "He ran his fingers across my arm, then down my back and his hands went across my sides. I felt that funny feeling you get in your stomach and when your heart pulls a bit." She hesitated, they both grinned at her poor description.

"Do you like him?" Gemma asked softly, bringing her legs up to rest her chin on the top of her knees. "I felt the same with Liam. It's a nice feeling though, isn't it?" She grinned back at her friend, tilting her head to the side. Her hazel eyes sparkled at the mention of her boyfriend, they'd been dating for years, it was hard to imagen the brunette with anyone else.

"It is and I'm not sure. He's been my friend for so long, I'm not sure I can see a change. I don't know if I_ want_ a change."

"I think you do."

"What?"

"I think you want something to happen. You're just nervous and worried. Sirius has been_ unrestrained_ in his relationships in the past, but he hasn't so much as looked at another girl since the middle of last year."

"I know, Gemma. I know, but what if he rejects me?" Her friend reached to fiddle with a piece of her long hair.

"He'd have to be blind." Moving to kneel behind her she pulled the strands out of her face and began to plait the blonde locks down the teenager's back. It served to calm her and they lapsed into a companionable silence.

"All done." Pulling the bobble keeping her own hair in a bun out, Gemma tied it to the end of her work. The side fringe and shorter pieces still framed her face but the Rhoswen suited the simple style. From her trunk she found a black and white hair band and slid it gently into place. The look was basic but effective. "Go knock him dead."

_**x. I want to hold you, Touch you and Taste You .x**_

"Sirius, just ask her man!" James shot watching said male twiddle his wand absent-mindedly between his fingers as he lay on his cot. The Black looked up, sighed, and ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm not like you James, I don't just randomly walk up to a girl and say "Hey, I think your well fit and just bloody brilliant. Wanna go out?"" He retorted, swinging his legs back over the edge of the canvas and striding towards the door.

"Why not? I do it all the time." The other boy stated, jumping up and following after him.

"Point proven." He muttered, pulling the bronze handle open.

"I don't get it, you never had any problem in the past with other girls, you would ask them out all the time." Sirius whipped round to stare at his best friend.

"She won't be one of them." He retorted, James's eyebrows rose as the other male turned back round.

"You've got it bad, haven't you mate?" The dark haired boy nodded grimly, surveying the common room. Below Remus was talking to Katie with Peter in the armchair beside them, listening intently. Lily sat next to her friend, the green eyed gaze frequently straying up to her dormitory. No sign of a certain blonde. He let out the air he hadn't even noticed himself holding in and rushed down the spiral staircase. James went straight to Lily, no surprises there, leaving him standing alone. "Traitor." He mumbled under his breath.

"Sirius? What are you doing?" A voice spoke behind him, he almost jumped. Almost. Turning he found the middle Rhoswen looking back at him with a raised eyebrow. Beside her Gemma whispered something, patted her friend's arm, then walked off to join their friends.

"I, erm, was just waiting for you actually." He admitted, had his gaze not averted to her shoulder to break eye contact, he would have saw red rush to fill her cheeks.

"Oh?" Her voice jumped an octave higher, her heart started to thump again and hope swelled in her chest. That was a pleasant surprise.

"Yeah, er, fancy a walk? Or run? Or we could-"

"Yes." His gaze snapped to meet hers, her smile was contagious and he felt his lips curve upwards. Meanwhile the group gathered around the fireplace watched on. Levana met Gemma's eyes and sent her an excited glance. Her friend grinned back ushering her on with a nod of her head.

"So does that mean I win? I was the closest." James spoke as his fellow Gryffindors followed the pair's retreating backs.

"They're not officially together just yet, Potter."

_**x. Could I have this night to share, This night together .x **_

Padfoot ran alongside the tall horse, her mane and coat shimmered in the star light as she cantered, frequently jumping obstacles that lay in her way. He watched, growing entertained with each passing minute as she pushed herself, testing her capacity. She was fast; athletic with impressive agility. He struggled to keep up with her, then another burst of speed made her over take him until she had disappeared amongst the trees. He drew to a halt, pressing his nose to the ground to pick up her scent. Ahead she reappeared from behind a willow and watched, nodding her head up in down in anticipation. He found her, she squealed and took off again, bolting away into the night. Her back legs flying out in a double barrel kick at the air. Excitement fuelled her muscles and she sped through the forest. For a while they continued their own version of hide-and-go-seek until she fell into a stride suited for the both of them. Eventually they slowed to a walk, the night was wearing on, in 6 hours the Sunday sun would rise. Standing on the edge of the forest they transformed, back to Sirius and Levana. The blonde this time had successfully (with the exception of two minor slits on her Cloak's sleeves) kept her clothes in tact. They shared a grin, stumbling their way back up to the castle, arms linked and high on good cheer even as they re-entered their school. Smiling contently, they hurried through the corridors and into a passage. He slid onto the stairs as she leant against the wall their breathing coming in pants, grinning he pulled her down beside him.

"Can I ask you something? What do you think of change?" She asked after they'd regained their normal breathing pattern, watching as he considered her question. He met her gaze, those beautiful blue eyes that were so stunning and captured him so easily.

"I'm all about change." He answered, tightening his arms to curve round her, shortening the gap between them. She felt his breathe on her skin, his lips gaining a dangerously close range.

"BLACK! I've got you this time, boy!" Filch's voice sounded, they jumped, twisting round frantically to search for the caretaker. Sirius stopped suddenly, an amused look spreading across his handsome features, she threw him a confused glance.

"He doesn't know the entrance to this passage, he must have just heard, look." He whispered into her ear, she raised one eyebrow following his gaze and finding a shadow at the base of the stairs.

"Come out! No point hiding!" He flashed her a grin, lacing their fingers together and rising to his feet, tugging her up with him.

"Come on."

**_x. Could I have this kiss forever? .x_**


	5. If I Could

**Under My Skin**

_x. If I Could .x_

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. ~ _Kenji Miyazawa_

**5**

"No way... I've just gained a slither of respect for him. Being_ alone_ with a_ gir_l and not having to stick his tongue down her throat.. that's something." Lily mock gasped sliding into the seat opposite Levana the next morning at breakfast. Katie giggled, Levana avoided eye contact, Gemma rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"That's a bit harsh. It's been a while, for him, since he's been with another girl full stop." She retorded, waving a dismissive hand.

"Yes for him it has." The red head nodded in cynical agreement. "Wonder if it's got anything to do with our lovely Levana." She added reaching across to squeeze her friend's arm. The blonde failed to hide her lips curving upwards as her friends turned to her and grinned. It was contagious and her embarrassment only served to make it inevitable.

"I think you're all delusional." Was the half hearted reply. They shared smirking glances before bursting into laughter. She groaned, burying her face in one hand. Nonetheless, she was still unable to squash another smile.

"Lilypot!" The Rhoswen looked up, amusement growing, as said red head's grin vanished and was replaced with a scowl. James, accompanied by the other Marauders, waltzed towards them. Levana drained the last of her Pumpkin Juice and made for the door. The extended glance with Sirius as they passed each other was not missed by her eagle eyes roommates. The day was just beginning.

**.x.**

Her lessons merged together into one, a blur that passed with little concentration until she had arrived at her allocated study period. Lily, being the academic whiz she was, had opted to take yet** another** subject, which left the teenager alone. Temporarily. A hand brushed the curtain of hair away from her face. Laughing grey eyes met her surprised blue ones. A grinning Sirius slid into the vacant library seat beside her. She raised her eyebrows, expecting the other Marauders to appear but found them absent. Truth be told she was actually surprised_ he_ was in the _Library_ of his own accord.

"Where's your possy?" He asked, beating her to it.

"Class, I'm guessing James, Remus and Peter are too. And they're not a possy they're my friends." Her lips twitched upwards as she watched him lean casually back in his chair, an arm impassively draping across the back of hers. He nodded, his gaze moving to the window.

"Cracking weather, shame we have to spent it cooped up inside." He grumbled, she sighed softly in agreement. Pausing, she allowed her eyes to drift across his frame. Quidditch had definitely benefited him in more than one way. She smiled to herself, quickly snapping her eyes to the text book she had been reading when he looked back at her.

"Arthimacy homework." He peered over her shoulder at the parchment she was working on. "Do you understand it?"

"Yes, you should too.. you're taking it as well." She pointed out raising her eyebrows. He wrinkled his nose in distaste.

"Not by choice."

"Orion made you take it." She deduced. His silence meant she was right.

"What are you?" He asked after a while of quiet. She sent him a questioning glance, briefly removing her gaze from the digits. "What are you in the Social, Heart and Character numbers?" She thought for a moment, twisting the feather of her quill between her fingers.

"Levana Brogan Rhoswen gives a Character 7, Heart 7 and Social 9." She said, a frown pulling her eyebrows down. "I don't come across as arragont to people to do I?" He pretended to ponder it for a moment before seeing the look of horror on her face.

"No, no! Of course not. A nine also stands for achievement, giving inspiration to others. That's you." She considered him, her chin lowering to rest in the palm of her hand.

"Do you have a middle name?" He shook his head a faint smile playing on his lips as he waited for her to work it out. "7,4,3." The blonde murmured to herself. He flashed a grin.

"Ah _ma belle_ we are compatible in character!" She rolled her eyes turning back to the still incomplete work. She felt his gaze on her and after a strained five minutes of trying to ignore him gave up.

"What?" He shrugged, tilting his head to innocently inspect the ceiling. Sometimes she wondered why he even bothered to hunt her down. Although his company was always nice, even if it was just a comfortable quiet. "Have you done this homework yet?" She asked, he snapped out of his daydream with a nod. He raised an eyebrow as a flash of frustration crossed her features. "How do you do question twelve?" His lips twitched upwards, leaning closer to examine the cause for her irritation. His scent filled her nostrils. She had to remind herself to concentrate, since when did she find Sirius so... attractive?

"You take the second set of numbers and match them with the fifth pair, you're looking for similarities in the sequences then you divide the digets according to occurance, the more popular ones being at the top end of a scale and so on. From there you take the number of created groups and divide it with the sum of each group. Understand?" She nodded quickly scribbling the answer before her wits deserted her completely.

_My god he's gorgeous. _Her eyes flittered up to meet his. Upon contact she instantly froze. Her posture automatically straightening.

That single motion was enough to make the his insides tingle. That gaze of hers struck him. A piercing blue which was both beautiful and held an element of intimidation. His stomach twisted and with a wry smile, he realised how easy it really was for her. And she simply didn't know it.

Standing to create space, she moved to a bookshelf, her eyes looking but not really seeing the books. She chided herself for the childish behaviour, selecting a random paper back, and turned to stand leaning against the wall.

He watched her lips purse into a thin line. _Enticing lips. _His hormones decided.

He continued to watch her, much to her discomfort. Right now she didn't like his complete focus. It unnerved her. It unnerved her more when he rose and swiftly made his way towards her. She risked a glance upwards only to have him snatch the book from her hands. Her back pressed against the stone wall. His body curved into hers, hands planted on either side of her head. Her breathe caught in her throat at the contact as the pleasant pressure sent shock waves through her. A throat being cleared broke the moment and with a fleeting look of agitation Sirius stepped back to find their Head of House glaring at the pair disapprovingly.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything, I am sorry." Her shrill tone and sharp expression indicated she was anything but apologetic. "Miss Rhoswen, I have a letter for you." She handed the envelope to the blushing teenager who took it with a weak nod.

Her heart missed a beat when she registered her family's crest, the red seal carved in their personal fashion. She stared down at the crisp paper and struggled to process thoughts. Her brain went blank and with clumsy fingers she opened it. Her eldest sister's handwriting greeted her, but from the end scribble where she'd signed her name Levana could feel Melarie's grief. Her gaze flittered over the words. Suddenly a weight strained her internally and a pain overwhelmed her senses.

"Levana?" She blinked looking up again. Worry creased Sirius's brow. Her vision blurred and she realised she was crying. Her hands trembled. She squeezed her lids closed as a sob broke from her lips.

"She's dead, Sirius, my grandma is dead."

**.x.**

"I'm deeply sorry for your loss." Their headmaster addressed the three Rhoswen siblings as they gathered in his office. Ruth sat with her head burried in the crook of Storm's shoulder whilst Levana stood a little further apart. Her eyes watery and her cheeks sticky, she stared blankly downwards. A hand lightly holding onto the front of Sirius's robe. One hand covered her's and the other gently rubbed her back.

"Your sister requests your return for the funeral, arrangements have been made for you to leave tonight. Your effects will be waiting in the lobbey with the necessary Portkey. Once again my condolences." Storm rose, bringing their youngest sibling with her and steered her towards the door. She cast an backwards look to Sirius. He nodded, murmuring faint words of encouragement to Levana. She blinked raising her gaze slowly to meet his.

"Where did you go?" He asked softly, brushing a strand of hair from her face.

"Durham, Grandma's old house." Her voice was thick, it was the first time she'd spoke since reading the letter. Taking one of her hands he lead her towards the door. "I wish you could come with me." She told him when they reached the main entrance.

"You know where I am if you need me." He replied softly, tracing the familiar pattern across her knuckles. She nodded, her throat closing as fresh tears stung her gaze. She swallowed and blinked them away. Their luggage was waiting as promised, along with the assigned Portkey. She turned to him quickly and pressed herself into his chest, her arms circling around his neck. He hugged her tightly until, reluctantly, she pulled away. Moving to stand beside her youngest sibling she linked fingers with Ruth and with a final glance at their school, the trio left for home.

The following day came with little activity as did the next morning and the one after that. Still no word from any Rhoswens. Sirius left his final lesson (potions) in a hurry, rushing through the dungeons.

"Sirius!" A voice called, jerking him to a halt. He turned to find Andromeda with her eyebrows raised as she took in her cousin's disheleved haste. Behind her Bellatrix emerged from the classroom. "What in the name of Merlin is wrong?" She tugged his robes back into place, much to his annoyance.

"He's off to see if there's a letter from his precious Levana, a Rhoswen, Andy." She added a speck of approval in her tone. "He might actually be doing something right for a change." Sirius bristled glaring back at his cousin, Levana was clearly a touchy subject. Andromeda saw it. Bellatrix knew it.

"Enough Bella, blood purity isn't everything." Her sister scoffed sending them both a nasty look but the arrival of the Gryffindors with the Marauders cut her short. The odds were not in her favour. She gave her sister a last withering glance before disappearing amongst the other Slytherins.

"Levana Rhoswen? Yes, I always liked her, I approve." He felt his jaw slacken, she laughed watching his attempts to form a response. "Merlin, the great womanizer is tongue tied." She grinned reaching up to pat his shoulder. "Never mind cousin, it was bound to happen at some point. You click together far too well." With that she turned and left him stunned in the corridor.

"Pads? Padfoot?" James waved a hand in front of his nonresponsive friend's face. Blinking, Sirius pulled off a shrug.

"It's nothing Prongs, we best be getting back." His friend appeared dubious but let it go.

Shortly after returning to the common room, he began letters several times but each one ended with the same fate; scrunched up and hurled into the nearest bin. It was late evening before Levana was mentioned again, when he recieved a rather unexpected request from the Headmaster. He stepped into the office to find the professor sat behind his desk, examining a scroll of parchment laid out in front of him. Beckoning the teenage boy in he rose to his feet, moving to pass the curving sheet to a confused Sirius.

"Your presence is sought, Mr Black." The handwriting was foreign to him but he'd seen that seal before. _Marcus Rhoswen. _"It would seem that her father has been informed of your friendship." The older wizard stated, his eyes twinkling over his spectacles. "Should you chose to accept the invitation you are required to leave this evening."

"I will sir, thank you." The headmaster nodded, chuckling as he motioned towards the door.

"I had expected such."

**.x.**

Levana Rhoswen sat in the tree swing her brother had made when they were just children. Still in tact and as strong as ever, she suspected he'd charmed it when they weren't looking. She swayed slightly in the breeze staring up at the moon. Her thoughts fell to Remus, but she reminded herself he was safe for another month. Of course, that then let to a certain dark haired Marauder appearing in her minds eye. She took a deep breathe, burying her head in the bundle of soft black fur in her arms. Minc stirred and leant into the crook of her neck. The Puppy's warmth served to calm her, even as her grandmother's face floated through her thoughts.

"Brogan." She twisted round to find Derek, her brother and the only person to call her affectionately by her middle name. Whilst they shared the same blue eyes, like Storm he was brunette. "I think it's time you came in."

"It's good to see you too, Jeremy." She smiled, he offered her his hand and pulled her back onto her feet. "How's Amelia?" She asked, as they walked together back towards the house. Amelia, formerly a Prewett, was Derek's wife. They'd married last year shortly after his 23rd birthday.

"Very well, she'll be arriving tomorrow morning she apologizes for not being any sooner." Levana shook her head, waving a hand impassively.

"She's an Auror, she has her priorities." She shrugged, pushing open the back door leading into the kitchen. Quen, the house elf rushed to greet them. Her miniture dress swishing with the movement.

"Would mistress Levana like a drink?" Levana shook her head, patting the small creature as she passed.

"No thank you. Please rest, you're going to need it tomorrow." She added, the house elf nodded in response moving to her quaters in the old pantry. Her brother kissed her goodnight at the base of the stairs.

She heard voices coming from Storm's room as she headed towards her own. Opening the door a fraction she found her sisters talking in hushed tones. At 26 years old Melarie was the eldest Rhoswen, followed by Derek at 24, then Storm at 17, Levana followed and finally Ruth at 15. The blonde watched Melarie, her golden hair reaching past her shoulders in soft curls. Levana always felt pale in comparison to her glow, and Storm's naturally more tanned complexion didn't help. Added with Ruth's general energy and confidence she felt meagre. A shadow in their bright lights. She felt herself becoming more self consious the longer she stood watching them.

Stifling a sigh, she moved away from the room and crept down the hallway. She stepped into her lilac coloured bedroom, the cream carpet soft under her feet. She opened her trunk and began rummaging around for pyjamas. She changed quickly and was about to close the lid when her eyes fell onto a grey jumper too large to be her own. _He's everywhere. _She gave a weak laugh raising it to her face and enhaling his scent. A pang of longing caught her, she really did miss him. Acting on impulse she pulled it over her head and looked to the mirror only to giggle at her reflection. She crawled into bed still grinning. After an incredibly morbid and greif stricken day the lift in spirits did her wonders. Even when he wasn't with her in person, that damned Sirius Black still managed to make her smile.

**.x.**

She was awoken to the sound of giggling whispers, her eyes blinked blearily against the darkness. It was still night, she couldn't have been asleep for more than an sat up abruptly and further giggles greeted her ears.

"Storm, Ruth, you'll wake her up!" Melarie's voice hissed. She deduced she was 'her'.

"I can't help it!" Ruth whined. She gathered they were outside her door and swinging her legs over the edge of her bed begun to tip toe towards the wooden opening. They passed her room and moved towards the stairs. Curiousity growing, she grabbed her dressing gown and quietly creaked the door open. She silently walked along the landing, pausing round the corner leading to the stairs and pressing her back against the wall. They had gone into the hall.

"She'll be so glad you're here!" Ruth's voice squeaked, to be shushed by her brother.

"Ruthella Harriet Rhoswen, will you shut it?" Storm snapped.

"Enough girls, our guest will be wanting to leave before Levana even sees him." Her father's voice reached their ears and instantly they fell quiet. Was her entire family conspiring against her? She felt an unpleasant twinge of anger and hurt.

"It is a pleasure to be in your household Mr Rhoswen." The familiar voice made her inhale air sharply. Gasping she stepped out onto the landing, rushing to the banister.

"Ah, it would seem that my daughter is awake after all." Marcus sent Ruth a knowning look, who sheepishly redirected her gaze onto the floor. Sirius Black locked eyes with his Rhoswen, his trademark smirk on his lips.

"Still, no harm done." Melarie spoke up as Levana practically flew down the stairs. She noticed their mother standing a few feet behind her father and met her gaze. Her younger sister stepped past her to greet the dark haired male with tight embrace, ignoring the disapproving look Marcus Rhoswen shot her. Derek cleared his throat, reminding her not to push her luck. Levana nodded, stepping back and sending each of her siblings a grateful grin.

"I am sure Mister Black is very tired from his journey, Levana why don't you show him to the spare room." She smiled broadly at her father, motioning for Sirius to follow. The guest bedroom was spacious with its own on suite. She watched him appreciate the decor and clicked the door softly behind her.

"Well this is certainly a surprise." He chuckled as she slid into his arms, she sighed contently enjoying his hold. His chin rested on the top of her head as her ear pressed against his chest to she listen to his steady breathing.

"Ah _mon belle_ _dame,_ you have been finding my absence unbearable!" He suddenly declared.

"And what, _mon bon monsieur_, would make you think that?" She raised an eyebrow, a smile lingering on her lips as she pulled away, hands balanced on her hips.

"Is that not _my_ jumper?" She felt her cheeks heat up as her fingers moved to recognize that in fact, she had fallen asleep wearing it.

"Maybe." He chuckled taking ahold of the front and pulling her back to him.

Her heart beat increased in anticipation as he titled his head to the side. Her lids lowered until she felt his breathe teasing her lips. She leant forwards asking for the kiss he'd promised twice. He closed the distance and met her, the soft feel of his lips pressing lightly against her's made their heads spin. With an experienced mouth he moulded them together. He'd kissed girls before but somehow she was different. He needed more. Her lips followed his in parting and he was pleasantly suprised when her tongue curved round his upon entry. Their connection intensified the rushing excitement. His hands brushed through her smooth strands of hair as she demanded him closer, tugging him to her by his school tie.

"Levana?" They broke apart, eyes flying to the doorway where Ruth stood. She shifted uncomfortably, staring down at the floor. "Mother says it's time we went to bed." Levana closed her eyes, gritting her teeth in frustration at the poor timing. He chuckled, watching her temper flicker, and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I'll see you in the morning then." She sighed, nodded and with a last smile retreated to her own room.

**.x.**

The day of the funeral dawned the following morning. Levana awoke to find all her cheer from the previous night been drained away again. Rising, she washed and dressed in the dark grey dress and black cardigan hanging on the back of her wardrobe door. Sat at her dressing table, she looked blankly at her reflection. Lacking any energy or will to move, her brain went on a constant replay of memories. Some pleasant and happy, whilst others she wished she could go back and change. Regrets. She sighed, picking up her hairbrush she began to make herself look more presentable.

The thought of facing all those people made her feel ill. The strain of putting on a front, to pretend everything was okay when in fact it wasn't, made her posture sag. She'd lost her grandmother. A tap at her door broke through her lost stare, summoning the last threads of strength she moved to her feet and stepping out into the hallway to meet Melarie, began one of the longest days of her life.

The funeral ceremony drawled on with the priest's service seeming to never end and only served to test the hold she had on the imaginary damn barricading her tears in. She successfully restrained her emotions, with the help of Sirius's tightly held hand. She even managed to survive standing in the traditional line with her siblings as acquaintances, friends and more distant members of her family she'd never even met offered their condolences. Whenever it became just that little bit too much she'd look up to meet his gaze and that would give her enough assurance to collect herself again.

It was the reading of the will that broke her.

With her grandmother laid to rest in the Rhoswen grave under multiple layers of dirt and flowers, the family retired to her father's study where her solicitor, Mr Tonis, executed the last testomony.

"On behalf of Halenia Mia Rhoswen I am here to address those included in her final testoment and ensure her will be carried out effectively. 'To Marcus Ara Rhoswen and Danette Sonya Rhoswen I leave to you the main household in East Essex and all possessions within it. To Derek Jeremy Rhoswen I give the Scottish cottage of which you have been a resident of for the past 3 years. Melarie Connie Rhoswen, I leave to you the Spanish Villa of which you have become so attached to. To Storm Lillianna Rhoswen I leave you the Northern household, may it be the sanctuary it once was for me. To Ruthella Harriet Rhoswen I leave to you the London residence. To Levana Brogan Rhoswen I leave the total sum in my Gringotts bank along with the wooden crafted box currently in Richard Tonis's possession and finally the red silk dress you wore for Derek Jeremy Rhoswen's wedding. Currently residing in the East Essex manor. Signed Halenia Mia Rhoswen." Stood at the back of the room she watched her relatives turn to stare at her, their eyes wide and mouths agape. Jealousy and spite. Her siblings exchanged glances.

She felt her gorge rise as Melarie got to her feet, she didn't even wait for her to reach her. Levana span on her heel and fled the room, she kept a hand clamped over her mouth whilst she ran down another corridor up two sets of stairs until she was in the attic. Her free fist balled as it leant on the window's frame, her other hand removing itself from her lips to steady her shaking body, braced on the sill. She battled against the sobs and tremors but the tears kept coming. Running down her cheeks in endless streams.

"Levana." She sucked in air sharply, her eyes widening. She'd forgotten about Sirius. She chided herself for the selfish mistake. She took a steadying breathe and blinked several times, it was futile. She squeezed her eyes shut as she heard his footsteps coming closer. _Please, I don't want you to see me like this. _Arms wrapped round her frame and suddenly it all became too much to bare, her chest exploded with pain and she twisted round to clutch desperately onto him. She sobbed until it became difficult to breathe. "It's ok, it's ok." He repeated holding her close.

"It's not-It's not-She's gone- Halenia is gone- they were looking at me- they were jealous- I don't care- I don't care- they can **have it**- they can have **all of it**- she's dead-my grandma is dead!" She wept, gasping for breath between outbursts of rage. He held her tighter, this was not Levana, this was not his Rhoswen. The teenager in her arms was hurt, confused and angry.

So he would stay holding onto her until she calmed and her uncontrolled crying subdued to occasional sniffs.

"I'm sorry, Sirius." She whispered, raising her head from his chest. His hand cupped her chin tilting it to gain eye contact. His fingers moved to stroke her cheek, offering a reassuring smile.

"Don't be ashamed Levana, today was enough to make anyone snap. Your family are probably just as shocked as you are, tensions are already running high. They just forgot themselves for a moment. It'll all be alright, trust me." He said softly, placing a tender kiss on her forehead. She sent him a grateful smile as he linked their fingers together and gently lead her out of the attic, down the stairs, through the back door and into the garden. She fell asleep with her head on his chest and in the morning she woke in the same position, to find him sleeping with one arm looped protectively around her. She would never be more happy to have his company and the rush of gratitude almost made her burst into another round of tears. Almost.

**.x.**

Preview:

"Levana we were all so worried about you." - Melarie.

"None of us knew how to react, we're sorry Brogan." - Derek

"Mistress Levana, this letter came for you this morning." - Quen

"She left specific instructions to only give it to you when you needed it, I can't tell you what's inside either, so don't ask." - Mr Tonis


End file.
